


two halves of one heart

by silvreon



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Falling In Love, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Im Changkyun | I.M/Son Hyunwoo | Shownu - Freeform, M/M, Mutual Pining, Rating will probably change, Tags to be added, Tattoos, Very Minor, for like two sentences - Freeform, fun times, movie actors au!, not really angst but, they are merely
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:55:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26841769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvreon/pseuds/silvreon
Summary: you don't have to say i love you to say i love you,forget all the shooting stars and all the silver moons,we've been making shades of purple out of red and blue...and all i need is you
Relationships: Lee Hoseok | Wonho/Son Hyunwoo | Shownu
Comments: 18
Kudos: 30





	1. Chapter 1

Hyunwoo remembers a field full of pure white daisies growing beside their set the day he met Hoseok. The sound of birds chirping fills the air outside his trailer as Hyunwoo steps down from the metal stairs to go meet his co-stars. 

“You’re late,” is what the director greets Hyunwoo with before ushering him into the large studio room that’s bustling with people. A glance at the clock tells Hyunwoo that he is actually one minute early, but some people are just like that so he doesn’t let it get to him. 

“That’s Yoo Kihyun, he plays your best friend Taehyun, but I’m sure you know him already,” he says, and Hyunwoo nods. They had met a few days ago completely by accident at a cafe, and ten minutes later their photos had ended up all over the internet. It was literally the first time they had met after learning about their new roles, yet the media had blown up some story about a “cute afternoon date” and now twitter was full of his fans talking about their non existent chemistry and some showki thing. He didn’t really bother worrying about it though, he trusts his fans, and knows they usually have his best interests in mind. 

“And that’s Chae Hyungwon, he plays Yunho’s boss, Lee Jooheon plays his brother but he won’t be here until next week...”

Hyunwoo tries his best to pay attention, but he’s kind of hungry and all he can think about is finding a snack table around here. 

“... is Lee Hoseok who plays Taehyun’s boyfriend. It’s his first movie so feel free to give him tips and help him out on set. Actually you should probably go do that now since I’m needed elsewhere.”

Suddenly Hyunwoo finds himself alone. He looks over at Hoseok and his gaze zeroes in on the bag of honey butter chips in his hands. 

Trying to look friendly, he shuffles over with a small “Hey.”

Hoseok seems startled even though he must have seen him coming. “Oh.. hello! Hyunwoo-ssi right?” 

“Just Hyunwoo is fine,” he says. “You’re new to this whole thing aren’t you?”

“Ah, yeah...” Hoseok mumbles, his grip on the chips tightening as he averts his gaze down. “It’s a lot to take in, but....” he takes a deep breath before looking back at Hyunwoo and bowing. “I’m going to do my best so please take care of me, Hyunwoo hyung!” 

Hyunwoo’s a little shocked to say the least. With red ears, he awkwardly returns the little bow and laughs, “I’m sure you’ll do great. But you don’t have to— uh, I mean I’m not that much older than you or something—“

“But!” Hoseok clutches the bag to his chest and really, it would be adorable if Hyunwoo wasn’t so damn hungry. “But your movies are so good and your acting is amazing... like that one scene you did on the mountain.. I have learned so much from you already!” 

“Oh..” Hyunwoo resists the urge to cover his red ears and just offers a smile instead. “I didn’t know you were a fan.”

“I’ve just watched some of your movies, that’s all, I'm not like, obsessed or anything I promise!” Hoseok exclaims very seriously. 

Playing along, Hyunwoo sees an opportunity and takes it. “Hmm. Well in that case I guess I could teach you a few things... but you’ll have to do something for me in return.” 

Hoseok’s dark eyes go wide. “Oh! Okay, what is it?” 

“Can you... uh, share some of those chips with me, I haven’t eaten since yesterday.”

Hoseok blinks at him, and then pushes the whole bag into Hyunwoo’s hands with a nervous laugh. “You can have all of them! I brought them thinking they would help calm me down but now I just feel nauseous so I probably shouldn’t eat..”

“Oh. Well, if you’re sure...” Hyunwoo quickly tears into the bag and stuffs chips into his mouth. “Thanks,” he says gratefully. 

Hoseok smiles, and now that Hyunwoo isn’t so distracted by hunger, he notices how sparkly and doe-like those eyes are. 

“Lee Hoseok!!” A voice rings out above the buzz of people in the room and Hoseok becomes alert. 

“I’m sorry, I have to go, I’ll see you later Hyunwoo hyung, thank you for talking with me!” he rushes out before practically running away from him. 

Hyunwoo watches him go, still munching on chips. 

There is something about Hoseok... with his short black cropped hair, his smaller figure, his sweet voice, and his fresh and partly innocent demeanor that makes Hyunwoo worry for him. He’s had to learn the hard way that this industry can be cruel to those who aren’t aware of its darker side. 

He figures he should keep an eye on him, at least during their time together during this movie. The last chip disappears into his mouth and Hyunwoo frowns at the empty bag before deciding to treat Hoseok to dinner sometime this week as a thank you for the delicious snack.

* * *

One month into filming and Hyunwoo and Hoseok have quickly become good friends. Hoseok apparently loves ramen, loves the gym, and loves cats, and these are all things Hyunwoo enjoys as well. At first the younger had been quiet, respectful, and reserved around him. But Hyunwoo is glad that he’s finally started to see him as a friend instead of his mentor or something. He still stubbornly calls him hyung but Hyunwoo is starting to get used to it at this point. 

The sound of wind chimes rouses him from sleep on another cold morning. Hyunwoo groans, and fumbles for his phone to see that Hoseok has sent him a cat meme. Smiling, Hyunwoo likes the picture, and hauls himself out of bed. It’s nice to wake up to Hoseok’s messages.

Hoseok has more morning scenes than him at this stage in filming, so he’s usually always there to greet Hyunwoo with a wave when he arrives. 

But today, Hyunwoo enters the set to busy voices and general chaos instead of Hoseok. 

That’s strange, considering the fact that Kihyun is talking to their director in what looks like Hoseok’s character’s bedroom. 

Oh wait. Hyunwoo squints at Kihyun, and then fishes out his glasses from his pocket because he always underestimates how blind he is. 

Okay, now he can see that Kihyun is definitely only half dressed. Which means... 

Hyunwoo quickly walks over to them. 

“Hey,” he greets Kihyun, and gives a more formal greeting to the director. “Everything okay?”

The director gives one of those sighs and Hyunwoo already has a pretty good idea of what’s going on before Kihyun says, “Hoseok hasn’t been doing well today.. It’s the shower scene, where Taehyun walks in on Sungjin, and he’s supposed to be confident and flirty but he’s too shy.” 

Ah, yes, the struggle of almost every new actor when they have to be naked on set. He excuses himself and leaves to find Hoseok. 

Not very surprisingly, Hoseok is in the first place Hyunwoo goes to look, which is his trailer. 

He locks the door behind him and sits next to the younger man, who is fully dressed but miserable and tiny on the old leather couch. 

“Hoseok—“

“I ruined everything, I can’t go back, I can’t do this, Hyunwoo, I—“

“Hey! Hey, no, no it’s okay,” Hyunwoo quickly shushes him. 

“No, it’s not,” Hoseok looks at him with teary eyes. “I couldn’t focus on the scene and I kept forgetting my lines, and Kihyun was so patient with me but I could tell I was just wasting their time,” he mumbles, drawing his knees up to his chin and curling into a ball. 

“Hoseok.... This is your first movie. It makes sense that you wouldn’t be comfortable,” Hyunwoo speaks softly. He turns towards Hoseok a bit more and drops a hand on his shoulder to reassure him. “The director will probably be annoyed yeah, but they’re always stressed about a million things so don’t worry about it. I told them to do other scenes today, and to shoot this one tomorrow.” 

Hoseok sniffles, and Hyunwoo frowns, squeezing his shoulder because he really doesn’t like seeing him cry. 

“But..” he starts, his voice heavy and hopeless. “But even tomorrow I don’t know how to feel comfortable in front of everyone...”

There’s a few seconds of silence, in which Hyunwoo wishes he was better at comforting people and knowing what to say. And then Hoseok continues. 

“I just.. I don’t really like my body. I know people say I look good but.. I’m too thin and small, even with my muscles, and I’m so pale... I hate it.” Hoseok sighs, and then uncurls an arm from around his knees to poke at Hyunwoo’s arm. “Your skin is so pretty and tan.. and you’re built so well...” 

Hoseok’s voice goes a bit shy at the end, but Hyunwoo just looks at him blankly. 

“Really? Wow, this is gonna sound stupid but I actually don’t like how I look—“

He’s interrupted by a gasp from Hoseok, who looks so offended that it makes Hyunwoo laugh. 

“You!!! Hyunwoo, what do you mean?! You look like a greek god, and everyone agrees!!!” Hoseok’s eyebrows have risen all the way up in the cutest way and Hyunwoo hikes his shoulders up to his ears as he tries to shyly brush off his compliments. 

“But you are!” Hoseok pouts, “What is there not to like?” 

Hyunwoo sighs. “I feel like I’m too big... my cheeks are a little too chubby.. Ah, I don’t know,” he shrugs in a half joking way. 

But Hoseok is all serious when he looks at him and it makes Hyunwoo feel strange. Strange, but definitely not bad. 

“I think you’re the perfect size,” he finally says, looking down at his hands instead of Hyunwoo. “You’re.... You seem like the perfect size to give hugs. And your cheeks are cute.” 

Hyunwoo feels his ears burn again as he swallows around a cough in his throat. Did Hoseok really think that? It’s the first time someone has said that about his cheeks, and Hyunwoo doesn’t know how to feel. 

“...Thank you,” he finally says, a soft smile on his lips. “You know... your cheeks are cute too. They’re soft, like marshmallows.” 

Without thinking, Hyunwoo reaches out to gently tap Hoseok’s cheek. It results in an instant smile, the curls of Hoseok’s soft pink lips rising up. 

“And I think you shouldn’t worry about your body, although I know it’s hard when there are like, 5 cameras on you. You really... you look good,” he mumbles awkwardly, hoping it doesn’t seem like he’s not serious, because he is. “You’re also a good size to give hugs... and to receive hugs too.” 

Hoseok is staring at his hands, but that small smile only gets bigger as he finally leans over to bump Hyunwoo’s shoulder and say a small, but happy, “Thank you, Hyunwoo hyung.”

They just sit there for a few moments, Hyunwoo feeling warm and content in Hoseok’s presence. 

Eventually, Hoseok stirs and slowly gets up. “I’ll try to remember everything you said, I think I’ll do better tomorrow. But I wish there was some way to get rid of these worries and just leave me full of sexy confidence.” 

Suddenly, Hyunwoo is hit with an amazing idea. He shoots up and grabs a startled Hoseok’s shoulders. “There is a way,” he says, looking into Hoseok’s eyes. “How do you feel about tattoos?”

The way Hoseok’s entire face lights up in excitement gives him his answer.

* * *

“Hoseok, are you sure?” Hyunwoo asks for the fifth time. 

“It’s okay, I really want this one. Besides the whole tattoo thing was your idea,” Hoseok giggles, and Hyunwoo can’t tell if it’s laced with nerves or excitement. 

“Yeah but..” Hyunwoo shakes his head. 

When Hyunwoo had suggested a tattoo, he had thought Hoseok might get something on his arm, or maybe his back like Changkyun who had inspired his wonderful idea. 

Never could he have imagined that Hoseok would walk in and ask if he could get a flower on his butt. 

“I’ve thought about it before you know,” Hoseok murmurs. He’s laying on his stomach in a leather chair, waiting for the tattoo lady to finish talking to another customer. “I always kind of... thought it’d look hot. But I never found the time or the courage to go and do it myself.”

Hyunwoo tries to imagine himself with that kind of tattoo and cringes in his head. But then he accidentally pictures Hoseok with a pretty flower blooming on the soft milky skin of his ass and— wow, okay. He shifts on his chair and has to look away from Hoseok to clear his mind.

“As long as you’re sure, yeah I think you’ll look great with it,” Hyunwoo shares a smile with him.

When the tattoo lady comes back and asks Hoseok to pull down his pants, Hyunwoo quickly goes to stand up. 

“I’ll wait outside for you—“

“Wait—“ 

Hyunwoo’s tugged back by a hand on his shirt. He pauses to see Hoseok pouting up at him. 

“Can you stay? For moral support?” he asks, eyebrows sloping upwards again in that way that makes it very hard for Hyunwoo to say no. 

And so he stays. Hyunwoo ends up sitting by Hoseok and holding his hand the whole time it takes for him to finish getting tattooed. 

They both admire the flower when it’s finally done, Hoseok twisting and making awed sounds as he looks in a mirror. Hyunwoo briefly considers how strange this all is as he snaps a few pictures of Hoseok’s new tattoo at his request before it gets covered up to heal. But when the younger leads him out of the store with a bounce in his step and a perpetual smile on his face, Hyunwoo figures it’s fine. 

How could there be anything weird about holding your friend’s hand and taking pictures of his butt tattoo when it makes him so happy? 

The sun is setting when they make their way back to their hotel. Red and orange light from the hall’s only window flickers in Hoseok’s eyes when they stop in front of Hyunwoo’s door. 

“I know I said it already but thank you for cheering me up today,” Hoseok tells him. Hyunwoo is about to cover his mouth because he needs to stop thanking him for just being a friend, but then Hoseok hugs him and he freezes.

The hug is so warm, and Hoseok feels so small and perfect against him... That protectiveness Hyunwoo felt a few days ago comes back, and he quickly returns Hoseok’s hug along with a few pats on his back. 

“I... I told you not to thank me,” Hyunwoo says when Hoseok pulls away, all too soon. “I’m glad I could help, but I also just like spending time with you.” 

The younger gives him one of his squishy smiles in return. The two of them stand there for a moment, neither apparently wanting to say goodbye. But of course, Hoseok has to be up at 5am tomorrow. 

“Go sleep, I’ll see you on set,” he says quietly as Hoseok nods. 

“I can’t wait to see the reactions to my tattoo,” Hoseok yawns halfway through his sentence and starts walking backwards away down the hall. “Goodnight Hyunwoo hyung, sleep well!!” 

Hyunwoo ends up just waving at him as he turns the corner. 

He falls asleep that night with dreams full of flowers swirling in ink, and the sweet sound of a voice calling his name.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow it has taken me a month to update haha... but here is chapter two!! PLS read the tags bc they have changed just a bit;; and as always thanks for reading and comments/kudos are always so so appreciated <3

“Hyunwoo look, they started the pillow fight without me even though I told them not to!” 

“Hey!” Hyunwoo playfully slaps Hoseok’s butt, making him yelp. “Stay still so I can finish here.” 

The younger grumbles at him, but allows Hyunwoo to finish dabbing concealer on top of his flower tattoo so they can work on their scene today. 

It’s kind of crazy how quickly Hoseok got used to everything. Just one month ago he’d been shy and nervous, and now he’s running around with Jooheon and Kihyun holding giant pillows and wearing nothing but his own skin. 

Hyunwoo thinks back to the day after Hoseok had gotten his tattoo. 

They had gone on set together and Hoseok had been proudly showing pictures of his flower for about five seconds before a staff member had panicked, and asked them how the hell they could film that scene now when his tattoo wasn’t healed enough to conceal. 

The huge smile had slipped off of Hoseok’s face, and Hyunwoo had rushed to his side to apologize because it was his idea. The two had bickered a little over who was to blame, each trying to protect the other. 

And then they both stood in silence, heads bowed low while getting yelled at by the director. 

They ended up having to delay that scene until Hoseok’s tattoo healed, and the younger had been in a bad mood for a bit. But at the end of the day, Hoseok was glowing again as the cast surrounded him and demanded to see pictures of it in progress and compliment him. 

“—at Hyunwoo hyung, he’ll surely catch me!” Hyunwoo suddenly has 0.5 seconds to prepare before Hoseok, who is wearing a pair of tiny yellow shorts now, launches himself at him. 

With a surprised grunt, Hyunwoo struggles to hold up Hoseok’s weight and not fall back. 

“What was.. that for?” He asks, panting at the effort as he tries to set Hoseok down only to fail when he wraps his legs tightly around him and keeps clinging.

“To prove a point,” Hoseok says with a big smile, his warm breath on Hyunwoo’s neck making shivers dance down his spine. Then he pulls away to wave triumphantly at Hyungwon. “Wonnie said you would drop me, but I know you care about me too much to do that.”

A glance over at the tall model getting his makeup retouched has Hyunwoo a bit confused because why does he look so smug? 

Anyway. 

Hyunwoo looks down at Hoseok. “Of course I couldn’t drop you. The directors would kill me if I let a single bruise stain your pretty skin.” 

He was trying to be sarcastic, but Hoseok swings his feet happily and giggles, and Hyunwoo has to quickly go to set him down. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t do this,” he continues, and then uses all his strength to grab Hoseok’s tiny waist and haul him over his shoulder. 

As expected, Hoseok yells and flails and tries to hit Hyunwoo’s back while laughing, “Hyuuuuung!!! Put me down, this is embarrassing!!”

Hyunwoo pats the back of his thighs and shushes him in response. He’s wondering where to deposit Hoseok when Jooheon and some other actors start walking their way. 

“You’re so small, how are you so heavy..” Hyunwoo wonders as he finally lets a pouty Hoseok down so they can see what the others want. 

“Are you guys free tonight? Kihyun rented out a bar, we were thinking of hanging out there after dinner,” Jooheon explains with a grin. “Free drinks for everyone of course.”

Hoseok says “Free drinks!” at the same time Hyunwoo says, “Kihyun did what!?” 

“Apparently he’s rich,” Hyungwon explains, coming up behind Hoseok and bumping him into Hyunwoo, who automatically steadies him by letting him hold onto his arm. “Not rich like us common actors, but rich rich.”

“Huh. That’s nice of him,” Hyunwoo offers. He finds it kinda strange that Kihyun would be willing to spend his money on a bunch of people he’s not that close to. 

“So you’re coming right?” Jooheon asks again, and Hyunwoo reaches up to run a hand through his hair. 

“Ah, I don’t know...” 

His words set off a chorus of “Come on hyung, it’ll be fun!” and “It won’t last too long,” and “We all know you love beer!” 

Now it’s not that Hyunwoo isn’t one for free beer, but he’d honestly just been planning to go home and crash tonight. 

In the end, it’s Hoseok’s eager face and sparkly eyes looking up at him and squeezing his arm that convinces him to go.

There’s a collective cheer when he finally agrees, and Hyunwoo allows himself to feed off of their energy and get hyped. It’s been ages since he’s been out without the risk of cameras and fans watching his every move, and although he still knows his limits, the thought of a few hours of freedom is enticing.

* * *

So it turns out that Kihyun had extended an invite to one of his rapper friends, and the guy had brought a whole crowd of his own friends and acquaintances to the bar. When Hyunwoo arrives, clad in a sleek red and black shirt with a deep v neck and dark pants, the bar is already swamped with people he doesn’t know. 

At least the music is good, he thinks as he tries to politely brush past a group of women— he could have sworn they were an idol group? Just how many people did Kihyun know... 

“Hyunwoo hyung!! Over here!” 

His attention turns to the edge of the bar, and he grins when he finally spots his friends. 

Hoseok, Hyungwon, and Kihyun offer him a stool to sit on when he makes his way over, and before he can say thanks, Kihyun slides his hand down the front of Hyunwoo’s shirt and pops half the buttons open. 

“Better. You look good,” he states loudly over the music, and Hyunwoo figures he must be drunk already. 

A drink is pushed into his hand from Hoseok. Hyunwoo observes Hoseok’s outfit as he takes a sip. He’s wearing a thin mesh sleeveless top, with the sides cut low, and it is definitely nowhere near cold in the bar but his nipples are... very visible.. through the fabric. 

“Oh, it’s fruity,” Hyunwoo blinks, drawing his gaze away. Why had he been staring in the first place? 

Luckily Hoseok doesn’t seem to notice. He just laughs and takes back his drink. 

Hyungwon loops an arm around Hoseok’s shoulders and says, “He’s a lightweight, he asked us to make sure he doesn’t drink too much. Right, Seok?” 

Hoseok nods, and it’s really, really cute. Even Kihyun coos at him and tries to pinch his cheek, although Hoseok attempts to swat away his hand and whines, “I’m 23 years old! And I’m older than you!”

Hyunwoo lets them be and turns away to flag down a bartender. There seems to be way more than usual-- maybe Kihyun had requested more people. Either way, Hyunwoo only has to wait a minute before someone asks him what he wants. 

“I’ll have...” He had planned to say a beer. But then he hears Hoseok’s laughter, bright and carefree, and decides he wants to actually get drunk tonight. “...That,” he finally says, pointing to a black bottle of tequila sitting on a shelf. 

When he slides back around with the bottle in hand, Hoseok immediately tries to grab for it, and three hands quickly intercept. 

“Tequila? What happened to beer, hyung?” Hyungwon raises an eyebrow. 

Kihyun is still restraining Hoseok’s hands, but he smirks at Hyunwoo. “Looks like someone decided to have fun after all.”

Hyunwoo shrugs with a smile. “When else am I gonna have the chance to drink without ending up all over Twitter the next morning? Might as well make the most of it.”

“That’s the spirit!” Kihyun says, grabbing Hyunwoo’s shoulder a little too roughly and then stating in english: “We all know what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas!” 

Hyunwoo shakes his head in amusement and takes a swig of the tequila as a confused Hoseok asks what the phrase means. 

The alcohol burns down his throat but he embraces the fire as it settles in his stomach. His eyes lazily drift among the colorful lights at the top of the wall, the same lights that reflect like stars in Hoseok’s eyes. 

“Why are your eyes always sparkly,” Hyunwoo wonders out loud, catching the younger’s gaze. 

“What?” Hoseok frowns and leans closer to hear him, and Hyunwoo notices his eyeliner is smudged. 

He reaches out to hold the younger’s face steady, cupping his cheek while he tries to fix the steak of black with his thumb. 

“What is this...” Hyunwoo says fondly, “Your eyes are even more big and shiny now.. You’re like that one emoji.” 

Hoseok continues to stare at him like... like he just offered to buy him a lifetime supply of his favorite ramen. He must really be drunk already.

Hyunwoo pulls away to examine his work proudly when he’s done. “Perfect.” 

“Perfect,” Hoseok echoes. 

Hyungwon groans in the background. 

“You good?” Hyunwoo calls out as the taller male slides off of his stool, worried that he wasn’t feeling well. 

But Hyungwon just gives them a smirk, and says “I’m gonna go find Kihyun,” before melting into the crowd. 

Huh, Hyunwoo hadn’t even noticed Kihyun had left them. 

The music shifts, turns into some edm song with a fast, hard beat, and Hoseok grabs his hand. 

“I wanna dance! Come with me!” he says, trying to pull Hyunwoo with him. 

Hyunwoo manages to painfully gulp down another shot of tequila, and then Hoseok tugs him away into the crowd of people. 

It doesn’t take long at all for Hyunwoo to let go and actually have fun— when was the last time he’d had fun like this?

He throws his head back and laughs at the ceiling, wondering why he didn’t do this more often. 

Hoseok has the biggest smile on his face as he dances next to Hyunwoo, a warm solid presence that’s always there through the night. 

At some point he does a headstand and remembers Hoseok practically yelling his name and telling everyone how cool Hyunwoo was as he stumbled around. 

“Seokkie!! You should drink some water!” Hyunwoo says while trying to steady him. Hoseok just giggles, making Hyunwoo laugh in return because it’s so fun! Everything is just a little blurry around the edges and he feels warm and his body is humming with energy, but not in a restless way. It’s more in a “the night is still young, let’s see where it takes us” kind of way. 

But no— they really should drink water. Especially Hoseok, because Hoseok is younger than him and Hyunwoo promised to take care of him!

“Come on, hyung will get you water,” he announces. He firmly secures a grip on Hoseok’s waist and steers him towards the counter. The younger barely makes an effort to move, instead tilting his head back to look at Hyunwoo. 

“Hyung... You are... so big,” he says, and Hyunwoo snickers. 

“Yeah? I think you’re just small, Seokkie.” 

As if they read his mind, one of the bartenders slides a glass of water over. Hyunwoo thanks them, and helps Hoseok drink at least half the glass. 

“Ah... water is so good,” he sighs, suddenly sounding a lot more sober. 

Hyunwoo’s head is still swimming, but he’s not too drunk to wonder how out of it Hoseok really was this whole time... or maybe it’s just him that’s super drunk. Which in that case, he should sober up because it’s kind of embarrassing... 

Hoseok has left about a quarter of the glass, and Hyunwoo quickly gulps it down. 

“Wow, it really is good,” he says, surprised. Has water always been that good? Hopefully it wasn’t spiked. 

Hoseok has managed to ask for a refill, and they wait in a comfortable silence, shoulders pressed together. 

Hyunwoo looks around, and wonders how late it must be. The music isn’t as upbeat anymore, it’s more smooth and mellow. There are still a good number of people dancing, but they seem to have paired off. 

Hyunwoo turns back to Hoseok when he feels a tap on his thigh. 

“So..” Hoseok starts, and Hyunwoo wonders why he suddenly looks nervous. But even drunk, he’s patient, so he sits and watches Hoseok bite his lip before taking a breath and trying again. “Would you... maybe want to um..“

It looks like he mumbled something at the end, and Hyunwoo shakes his head in confusion. “I can’t hear you—“ 

“Hyunwoo!!!” 

Someone suddenly has their arms around him and is purring in his ear, “It’s been so long, hyung.” 

The deep voice rings a bell in Hyunwoo’s mind, and he instantly breaks into a grin. “Kyunnie? When did you get here?” 

Changkyun, clad in all black with extremely bleached hair, gives him one of his classic half smiles. “Just now, I was in my studio and didn’t check my phone until midnight.” 

“Ah, do you want a drink— Oh wait, have you met Hoseok? He’s one of the lead actors in our movie,” Hyunwoo explains. 

Changkyun turns to look him over, and then offers a handshake. “It’s nice to meet you. You’re just as cute as all your fans say you are.” 

Hoseok is blinking rapidly at them, but finally smiles, a bit shy. “Thanks.. nice to meet you too.”

A bottle of something blue is pushed into Hyunwoo’s hands. He hadn’t noticed Changkyun holding it, but now he’s already unscrewing the top and holding it up to Hyunwoo’s mouth for him to taste. 

“It’s good right?” he says, laughing when Hyunwoo winces and coughs. 

“It’s strong,” he gets out once he recovers. 

Changkyun shrugs, and Hyunwoo remembers that he’s always liked his drinks as high in alcohol percentage as possible. “Do you want to try?” Changkyun offers the bottle to Hoseok. 

Hoseok starts to politely decline, and then he’s flanked by a much more sober Kihyun and a tired looking Hyungwon. 

“None for him but I’ll try some.” Kihyun grabs the bottle and takes a swig, not even flinching as he hands it back. 

Hyunwoo is actually impressed. 

“Not bad,” he concludes, nodding to Changkyun, who looks proud for some reason. 

Quick introductions are made, and at some point in the conversation Hyunwoo completely zones out. 

Maybe it was whatever Changkyun offered him, or maybe he’s just reached that point in the night where he’s slowed down and in the mood to.... well. 

Wandering hands finally capture his attention, and he looks over to meet Changkyun’s hooded eyes. 

“Wanna go dance?” He murmurs, and Hyunwoo can guess what he really means. 

But wait, what about Hoseok, his best friend Hoseok. Changkyun has pulled him off of his seat as Hyunwoo tries to ask Hoseok if he’d like to join them. But he’s engaged in a conversation with Hyungwon and Jooheon, who’s finally shown up with another guy practically draped over him. Only Kihyun seems to hear him, giving him a strange expression that kind of looks like a frown. Hyunwoo shrugs it off and follows Changkyun back to the dance floor. 

They’ve done this before, a few months ago. They weren’t at a bar, but at a friend's place, newly introduced and slightly tipsy. So they did the natural thing and hooked up. Hyunwoo doesn’t really... sleep around much. But somehow with Changkyun it was okay, especially since he made it very clear that there was nothing between them other than friendship. 

So it’s nothing serious, it’s fine that they dance and make out at the bar, and it will continue to be fine when Hyunwoo brings Changkyun back to his hotel room and fucks him hard. 

For someone who barely has the time to date or even meet new people that aren’t other actors, this kind of casual, easy arrangement is perfect. 

And so Hyunwoo wakes up feeling satisfied and refreshed the next morning. Another thing he likes about Changkyun is that he will literally bite Hyunwoo’s arms if he tries to fall asleep right after sex. Instead, he forces them to shower, and drink a ton of water before they go to sleep, resulting in only a slight ache in his stomach the next morning. 

It’s a Sunday, which means he usually meets Hoseok at the gym around 8am. So he shoots him a quick text, hoping his own hangover isn’t bad. 

By the time Hyunwoo arrives at the gym, he still hasn’t gotten a text back which is strange. Leaning against the lockers, Hyunwoo presses the contact in his favorites titled ‘🐰hoseok🐰’ (the emojis entered in by Hoseok himself) and waits for a few rings until someone picks up. 

The voice that drawls a “Hello?” at him is definitely not Hoseok’s. 

“Uh, hi, who are you? Is Hoseok okay?” Hyunwoo asks, concerned. Maybe he should have gone to Hoseok’s room and checked up on him before coming to the gym. 

“Oh wait one second— Hoseok? Seok!! Did you say you would—“ 

The phone lapses into silence. Hyunwoo thinks the voice sounds a lot like Hyungwon, and in that case he’s relieved because at least Hoseok isn’t alone. But there’s another feeling nagging at him... He should’ve been there to take care of Hoseok. 

Before he can mull over it for too long, the line is unmuted and Hyungwon says, “He’s still in bed. Told me to tell you he’s sorry he can’t be at the gym today but he’ll see you on set later.” 

“Oh,” Hyunwoo frowns at the floor, wondering why Hoseok couldn’t talk to him himself. “I don’t mind that, but is he okay?”

“Mhm,” the reply comes with the sound of plastic bags rustling in the background. “He’s just tired.”

Hyunwoo makes a sound of acknowledgment, and then Hyungwon speaks again. “Our food’s here so we’re gonna eat before it gets cold. See you later, hyung!” 

He hangs up, and Hyunwoo is left staring at his phone. That was.. weird. He’d thought Hoseok would love to whine to him about how gross he feels after drinking and how he needs hugs and attention or he’ll suffer forever....

Oh well, maybe he really was just that tired. 

With one last scroll though his still unanswered texts, Hyunwoo manages to forget about his worries as he leaves to complete his work out. 

The rest of the day drags on, and by the time Hyunwoo makes it to set, he still hasn’t gotten a reply from Hoseok. Hyunwoo wants to go see if he’s doing a scene, but someone immediately grabs his arm and whisks him off to hair and makeup before he has a chance. 

Halfway through getting his makeup done, he spots Hoseok, along with Kihyun and Jooheon, chatting and walking somewhere. He keeps trying to check if Hoseok looks okay, but gets lightly scolded for moving too much. 

Fifteen minutes later, he’s all done and unfortunately Hoseok is nowhere to be seen. 

Hyunwoo huffs a sigh. 

The rest of the day is filled with filming and trying to find time to steal bites of food while reviewing scenes. 

The sun has started to turn the sky into orange and pink by the time they all shuffle indoors to film the last scene of the day. 

And Hoseok is there, looking uncomfortable. 

“Hey,” Hyunwoo says, quickly walking over to him. “I haven’t seen you around much today.”

Hoseok seems to sigh, and then offers a small smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “Yeah.. I’ve been really busy.” 

“Oh.”

Hyunwoo waits for him to say more, but he doesn’t. 

“Is everything okay?” he asks tentatively after a moment. “Are you still feeling bad from last night?” 

He searches the dark brown pools of Hoseok’s eyes. Usually the younger is an open book, but today he’s completely closed off. 

“I’m okay, hyung. You don’t have to worry,” Hoseok mumbles. 

“But—“

Loud voices calling the cast to set cut him off. Hyunwoo frowns, but has no choice but to let it go so he can focus on the current scene. 

Stars have appeared in the sky by the time everyone wraps up for the day. As they’re all ushered outside, Hyunwoo thinks about how Hoseok is still acting strange around him. It’s almost like he’s avoiding him... but Hyunwoo hadn’t done anything to him right? 

A quick glance at his watch tells him that it’s not too late for dinner. Usually he or Hoseok would propose a new restaurant to try out, Hoseok’s choices almost always being ramen. 

Maybe Hoseok would be more willing to talk about whatever was bothering him over a good meal. 

Hyunwoo finds the shorter male in the crowd standing with Hyungwon and Kihyun, and starts their way. But he’s only taken a few steps before a car pulls up to them and they all get in. 

Well then. 

“Hey hyung, want to go eat with us?” Jooheon has appeared at his side, along with some others whose names Hyunwoo struggles to remember. 

“Uh...” Hyunwoo considers just agreeing, but it’s bothering him so much that he just needs to ask, “Do you by any chance know where Hoseok and the others were going?”

“Oh don’t worry about inviting them,” Jooheon waves a hand dismissively. “Hyungwon mentioned a movie night or something so they’ll probably order food to their room.”

A movie night... it sounds fun. Hyunwoo tries very hard to ignore the seed of jealousy that plants itself in his chest because it’s ridiculous. It’s fine for Hoseok to hang out with people other than him. Plus it’ll be good for him to get close to actors other than Hyunwoo. 

And as for Hoseok suddenly not texting him... maybe he’s finally realized that Hyunwoo isn’t as cool or funny as the other guys. It wouldn’t be the first time it’s happened, and Hyunwoo is used to it. If someone doesn’t want to be friends with him, he’s never been one to chase after them. 

So he smiles at Jooheon, and agrees to eat with him. Good food will surely distract him from his confusing feelings about Hoseok. 

Except it doesn’t work at all. It’s like the harder he tries, the worse it gets and he ends up not speaking much throughout the whole dinner, his mind occupied with Hoseok and this sudden change in their relationship. 

At some point Hyunwoo realizes it happened right after that night out at the bar. He whips out his phone immediately to text Changkyun and ask if he’d maybe said anything weird or acted strange before they had headed back to the hotel. But the younger simply texts him back with “nah, from what i remember you were the same hyunwoo as always. you were more sober than me tho so i dunno if i’m the best person to ask.”

So if it wasn’t something he’d said then... Hoseok must have just found better company.. right? 

Back in his hotel room, Hyunwoo finds himself lying on the bed, still constantly checking his phone, and going back to his last messages with Hoseok. He really can’t remember the last time he was so invested in a friendship and it’s strange... He misses Hoseok so much already. 

Hyunwoo had been used to working out at the gym alone, but with Hoseok there the work outs were just more enjoyable. He thinks about their early morning jogs and their spontaneous trips to the ramen shop nearby. He thinks about Hoseok laughing when Hyunwoo cracks a joke that makes everyone else groan. He thinks about Hoseok’s smile when he made Hyunwoo take endless selfies with him, and the warmth of his smaller body against him when they hug. 

Wait a second. It can’t be... 

Hyunwoo sits upright, eyes wide as he stares at a spot on the wall. 

There’s no way he could like Hoseok more than a friend.. Right? He was just missing their friendship, that was all. And when he was jealous Hoseok was watching a movie with the other guys, it was just jealousy in a strictly platonic way. 

Hyunwoo repeats the words in his mind, refusing to accept anything else. He doesn’t want to admit it to himself— he absolutely can’t admit it because it’s already too late. There’s no point when Hoseok is already trying to slip away from him. 

It’s unfortunate but it is what it is...

Hyunwoo slumps back down under the covers. He should probably try and just ignore the feelings. And forget what he had with Hoseok. 

Honestly, it all seems a bit dramatic for him to be like this after just over two months of being friends with Hoseok. Hyunwoo laughs a little under his breath at the whole thing. 

Well since there’s no point to thinking about it anymore, he decides to go to sleep. And he does not check his phone for new messages, because of course there won’t be any.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! please let me know what you think in the comments (or on twitter @ ishownuyou) it really helps motivate me to write:) 
> 
> the lyrics in the title and the summary are from 'for him.' by troye sivan 
> 
> and... so i have a couple chapters already written/outlined but lately i have been struggling to finish this fic so there is a possibility this fic may be left unfinished:( i am hoping that posting what i have so far will help me get back on track, but i can't be sure so this is just a warning, sorry!


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